It's four in the morning
and I'm layin' with my head
against the toilet seat
For several days now I've been living here
Too tired to sleep, too sick to eat
I feel like a monster and it doesn't help
that you will treat me like I've got the venom in my teeth

'Cause I'm the spider in your bathroom
I'm the shadow on the tile
I came for shelter from the cold
And I'd thought I'd stay a while
I'm only small, I'm only weak
And you jump at the sight of me
You'll kill me when I least expect it
God, how could I even think of daring to exist?
Looking just like this, I'm hideous

I'm nothing but legs, they used to say
I'm nothing but skin and bones these days
You dangle me high over the drain
and tell me I'm lucky you don't drop me there and
Let me wash away or put me on display
By trapping me forever between a glass and a dinner plate

'Cause I'm the spider in your kitchen
weaving webs through every year
And I worked real hard on the last one
but the last one got me here
I'm minding my own business
but my presence makes you curse
I should be getting better but I'm only getting worse
And, God, how dare I even think
of choosing here to die?
'Cause then, I'm just a problem
that you have to take outside

And I know you hate the sight of me
I haunt you when you're fast asleep
I've got eight legs, a million eyes
if only I had eight more lives
'Cause I'm the spider on the ceiling
and you're nothing but a guy
You don't like it when I cry
you would break me if you tried
And you will because I dared to be alive