Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe
But I fell in love last Friday evenin'
With a girl I saw on a bar room T.V. screen

Well I was just gettin' ready to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself a couple o' more shots and beers

The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Round and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman
That anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

She was five foot six and two fifteen
A bleached-blonde mama
With a streak of mean
She knew how to knuckle
And she knew how to scuffle and fight

And the roller derby program said
That she was built like a 'fridgerator with a head
Her fans call her "Tuffy"
But all her buddies called her "Spike"

You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Round and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman
That anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

Well I could not help it
But to fall in love
With this heavy-duty woman
I been speakin' of
Things looked kind of bad
Until the day she skated into my life

Well she might be nasty
She might be fat
But I never met a person
Who would tell her that
She's my big blonde bomber
My heavy handed Hackensack mama

You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Round and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman
That anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round