By: Jimmy Buffett, Michael Utley, Vince Melamed, Josh Leo,
Willie Weeks, Matt Betton
For all of those who have dared to try, made it, and lived to tell about it.
-- Spoken:
"He told it to the monkeys and they didn't talk back"
"Then he told the old iguana and he didn't attack"

They told me before I started
That it never ever would work out
Stay in school, don't be a fool
But I had to see what life was about

So I went to Biloxi seekin' fortune and fame
I got hired, I got fired, I got called dirty names
You'll never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
You'll never (never), no never (never)
Never work in dis bidness again

I knew I needed representation
And I found it one night in a bar
He was a bondsman and a part-time agent
And he said that he would make me a star

He said', "Aaaah, you don't have to be that good
To make it out in Hollywood
You just have to change and complain"
Or you'll never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
You'll never (never), no never (never)
Never work in dis bidness again

(synth and horn instrumental)

I parked cars at the Rainbow
I sold maps of the stars
I got my nose broke in Spago's
When I puked on the bar

And all I played's a double barmitzvah
(Bubba played a double barmitzvah!)

It's a jungle out there (we love it)
Hell, I don't care
I'm going back to my predator friends
I will never (never), never (never), work in this bidness again
No I'll never (never), no never (never)
Never work in this bidness again
You'll never (never), never (never), work in this bidness again

-- Spoken:
"Ah, relax, vhere do you tink you're going vit dat suitcase?"
"I'm outta here!"
"You're leaving?! Vat about my fifteen percent?"
"Fifteen percent of nothin' is nothin'!"
"Young man, you leave now and you'll never..."
"I'll never..."
"You'll never..."
"Work in dis..."
"Bizness..."
"Bidness..."
"AGAIN!!"

- Notes:
The parts of Jimmy Buffett and his manager played by Vince Melamed