I'm a closet alcoholic
And I just learned what to call it
And I started it in college
In some busted-up apartment

I drink and then regret it
And really, it's just pathetic
And I promise to get sober
At my birthday, over and over again

I gotta go and make my rounds
Think I should tell all of my friends

I found love in the places I hated the most about myself
And it's not even close
Sometimes this life's just a son of a bitch
I found true hope when I wanted to quit
It was hard to admit
That I'm powerless

Oh, I blame it on my mama
And I blame it on my trauma
And I say it ain't genetic
And really, it's just pathetic

I think that in my brain
That everything should change
Then do everything the same
That's legit the definition of insane

To admit that you're a loser is simply
Just not the American way

I found love in the places I hated the most about myself
And it's not even close
Sometimes this life's just a son of a bitch
I found true hope when I wanted to quit
It was hard to admit
But I'm powerless

Now I'm proud of it
That I'm powerless