I dont know how deep to go, but Imma let it all out So come peep the show Got my first xaney of my mate, I aint gonna say his name It was fun at the start, I used to treat it like a game This around the time when the nebulizer dropped I was on all types of shit, but theres one I couldnt stop And it played with my brain, but I focused on the music I focused so much, didnt realize I abused it Never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction Going through fame, couldnt see I had addictions 1 Turned to 2, turned to 3, turned to 4 Then I need about 6 a day, a little bit more Mixing it with lean, gotta stop people seeing What damages can be by looking at me, shit What to do cause I feel like a fool and I hate Any rapper making xaneys look cool Shit was getting bad I was filled up with hateful Thoughts in my mind, I would argue with april Agreed I would stop, shit Id give it a go By the first fucking night, felt like slitting my throat Second night, my body shaking The ambulance appear and Im thinking in my mind What the fuck they doing here? Suddenly Im caught up and theres no time to muck round Lucky I got here, cause my body bout to shut down
Back to square one, nah man you cant quit You gotta wean yourself off Thats some hard shit What the fuck man, my brain is a mess I cant remember that much Feel the pain in my legs I wish it was that easy I could give up and go And people still got the hide To tell me pick up my phone Maybe thats my fault I didnt speak on it much I didnt see if as a problem I would keep it from cunts Rates could always tell When I couldn't pronounce Certain words, brain dead Yeah should I be proud? Anxiety was killin me The doctors couldnt deal with me Put me on a program cut me down On the pills and weed All scared, cause I feel on my own I told em let me chill Now they think Im dissing them bro Waking up tired, I gotta take more pills And I didnt even wanna take em Is this fuckin for real? Losing touch of myself Its like realitys false Its like Im walking around Without having a pulse Its a feeling of death Or like nothing is left Cause there Im holding my chest Just put a hole in my head You see the older I get Its getting scary as fuck Im like an eighteen in the head I werent aware of those drugs The shit that they cause I talk to mirrors on walls I dont need this shit ever But to pills I will fall
I opened up on no rest told cunts everything That I done ice, didnt leave out anything I quit that shit, yeah I left it flat dead That was 5 years ago, they still think Im a crackhead If thats what we going off, fuck me dead In 5 years Ill be clean, theyll be calling me a xaney head Funny how the world works for a paycheck Once the fame hit, I became a train wreck I wasnt shit anyway, so why does it count? Why so many people love me? I cant figure it out But Im telling you now, dont you follow my path Look you couldnt if you tried, cause Im going in hard Fuck a poppin a pill, just to go out today Howd I end up like this? I dont know, its a way Well Im blaming the fame, yeah I said it before But its enough to make me high Feel like ending it all, but I
Brush it off got my fans on my side too And my girl and my brothers And the whole crew Spilling the truth, its like all I can do Thats why I dont have time for rappers That are saying theyre true When they lie to their fans, apologize in the end I never lied to mine and this is why Im the man I tell you what Im going through I dont care what they think Thats why Im triple popping pills, leaning over the sink Im almost fuckin crying as Im writing this shit Cause of all my close ones, and the lives I affect I came from the bottom, I made it my problem Created the option, now fame has adoptin My brain gotta stop it, insane I am not this Strange we got scot sick, Imma watch a clock tick Just fuck off, I said it just fuck off If I wont have my tablets Ill find a bridge to jump off Fuckin idiots, thinking that the shit is cool till they dyin in the vomit of there own drool What I meant to say? dont do what I done Ive cut down on the program, yeah Ive won Repped it from the street, turned into a star then Caught a fuckin habit on the xanex but the bars went Crazy and Im just dealing with fame I just want my fans to know that Ill still be the same I'm good
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