The bottom feels so much better than the top
So much better

Nan, you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan, you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan, you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan, you're a window shopper
Mad as fuck only just alive

You get up in the morning and you like your tea milky
You stumble for your glasses cause without 'em you can't see
It's funny how I come around your house and I'm twenty
And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me
I walk into your kitchen, everything's got a label
You've done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April
And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals
You've covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils

You're headed down the bowls club
Have another orange squash
Fools are rolling, rolling, rolling
And you can't walk right
'Cause things aren't what they were
Your ankles are swollen, swollen, swollen

Nan, you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan, you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan, you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan, you're a window shopper
Mad as fuck only just alive

You're walking down the post office to pick up your pension
And then you're off to bingo has become an obsession
So weary of the kids who are wearing their hoods up
And even if they smile at you you think it's a stick-up
You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons
You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?
You're always at the doctor oicking up your prescription
And they throw in some KY just to ease up the friction

You got a leak in your colostomy bag
Yeah, it's got a hole in, hole in, hole in
At the weekend you're shopping with your trolley
It's sad, how you're rolling, rolling, rolling

Nan, you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan, you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan, you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan, you're a window shopper
Mad as fuck only just alive