Come try our new product

It's the best you've ever seen (seen)

A miraculous invention

Who can guess what it'll be? (be)

And our new line-up's unveiling

We ask you be polite (oh so polite)

For our product is a little bit shy

For we have built you a friend (friend)

A most comforting friend (so great)

For those nights when you are feeling all alone

He'll hug you when you cry

And he'll never say goodbye

And if he does, well

That's what the off button's for

Now, customers don't go away

For we'll make it worth your while today

To forget your lonely, empty lives

To make a purchase of this size

For twenty-five thousand, he'll say your name

And every person will message you

For twenty-hundred, he'll wave hello

And for two hundred, our invisible model will

(Get it, there's no model)

For we have built you a friend (friend)

A most dazzling friend (so great)

For our upgrade, he can juggle and sing songs (amazing)

He'll tell you he loves you

Even if you know it's not true

A hollow replica of your boyfriend

Who is gone

He can sing (tra-la-la-la)

He can dance (tap, ballet, and jazz)

Higher than any man, he can jump (how is that marketable?)

He's like a famous celebrity, almost real

At least that is until

You have to fill him up at the gas pump

(That's a problem we're currently working out, it's weird, we know)

For we have built you a friend (friend)

A most comforting friend (so great)

For those nights when you are feeling all alone (so alone)

If he starts to ask questions like

"Why do I exist? "

"Who created me? "

"What is my purpose but to fill a lonely

consumerist soul and make you think

that even just for a second someone who

loves them could be bought with money? "

Well, that's what the off button's for

Thank you for your purchase