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What A Waste

Miss Saigon


A street filled with vendors in Patpong in Bangkok, outside a sleazy night-club called "Le
Moulin Rouge" where the ENGINEER is doorman and barker. Other DOORMEN compete
with him for the attention of crowds of TOURISTS.)

ENGINEER
check it out, hey!
yo! check it out!
hey, boy! You want to try my girls?
try my girls, eh? etc...

DOORMEN
girls! I got girls!

DOORMEN
gorgeous girls!

DOORMEN
very nice!

TOURISTS
hey, wow! Oh look! We gotta see!

VENDORS
bags! Gucci bags!

VENDORS
cultured pearls!
VENDORS
shrimp and rice!

TOURISTS
I'm glad my wife's not here with me!

ENGINEER
what a waste!
to pay for my keep
I'm rounding up sheep
to fleece here in Bangkok

I'm disgraced
I can't get ahead
there's nothing as dead
as peace here in Bangkok

ten cents an hour, and I stand all day
I could sell Kim for ten times my pay

(to some TOURISTS)

if you're looking for fun
original sin
if you want to put out
then you gotta come in

(TOURISTS pass. He tries to make them take his leaflets.)

DOORMEN
girls! I got girls!

DOORMEN
gorgeous girls!

DOORMEN
very nice!

DOORMEN
girls!

ENGINEER (to TOURISTS)

gee, isn't Bangkok really neat?

DOORMEN
I got girls!

ENGINEER
the things they're selling on the street

DOORMEN
girls!

ENGINEER
fresh dog, if that's what you'd enjoy

DOORMEN
worth the price

ENGINEER
a girl, or if you want a boy

DOORMEN and the ENGINEER
come, come to me
first drink is free

ENGINEER
to two Japanese TOURISTS)
don't be a lump, you can hump
for a small extra fee

ENGINEER
I'm depressed
for hustling amours
to Japanese tours
is no treat in Bangkok

I'm the best
but where's a Marine
with fistfuls of green
I'd cheat him in Bangkok

ten cents an hour...

(The CLUB OWNER, the ENGINEER'S boss, passes.)

evening, Boss

...screw the Siamese
look how they're ripping off... refugees

(to another PASSER-BY)

ENGINEER
if you're looking for fun
original sin
if you want to put out
then you gotta come in

DOORMEN
girls!

ENGINEER
hey boys, don't stand around like wimps

DOORMEN
I got girls!

ENGINEER
watch out, those guys, they're really pimps

DOORMEN
girls!

ENGINEER
you want some thrills, I'll guarantee some

DOORMEN
half the price!

ENGINEER tonight, a twosome or a threesome

DOORMEN
hey, come to me!

(unfolding folders of photos)

DOORMEN
look what you'll see!

ENGINEER
hey, that's a joke, mine blow smoke
for a small extra fee

VENDORS
acid, marijuana and hash

DOORMEN
we'll get you high in a flash

TOURISTS
let's go and see what they mean

VENDORS
chicken, lemon grass and bamboo

TOURISTS
we want to try something new

DOORMEN
come do the ping pong routine!

ENGINEER
hey, Joe, try taking a little excursion
you'll all feel good from a little perversion

TOURISTS
oh yeah!

ENGINEER
massage requiring total immersion

TOURISTS
oh wow!

ENGINEER
some strange positions they say are Persian

TOURISTS
oh no!

ENGINEER
drinks are on me
first girl is free
what can I say? You get me
for a small extra fee!

VENDORS
acid, marijuana and hash

DOORMEN
we'll get you high in a flash

TOURISTS
let's go and see what he means

VENDORS
chicken, lemon grass and bamboo

TOURISTS
we want to try something new

DOORMEN
come do the ping pong routine

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