Last night my dad flew in from Maine on American Airlines. He looks the same– but I heard a worry–a worry in his voice. "Every time I come here, you gotta new lame job, a strung-out girlfriend Where is your hope, what is your dream–I want to understand."
I said: "This is what I live for, this is what I live for, I know you can't see anything yet but I'm trying to find the core of what I live for."
"Come back soon– your family is dying to see you. I want to help but I'm beginning to hate you. If I'd behaved this way my dad woulda cracked me in two.
"I feel you slipping away, I feel you slipping away, I know the talk, I know the smells, the druggy walk, the druggy hell. You're slipping away."
"Dad I'll be fine, I'm trying hard, trying hard to find a way to live, a way to love–I know I'm a little bit fucked up.
"This is what I live for, this is what I live for, I know you can't see anything yet but I'm trying to find the core of what I live for."