First of all we must establish contact
I've no thirst for fame or a lavish contract
I'm a chappie with a sunny disposition
With a taste for fine wine or a funny expedition
To the club or the bordello with a sweet tobacco smell, oh
I can taste it as we speak, it stays with me for weeks!
The simple things in life come when I paid for all my Geep
But when some others take a peek they form a clique
It takes a squeaking off their wish to see me fall
The greatest chap-hop star of all!
But the weaknesses of some can leave them rather overcome
And then their jealousies can rather stop them from keeping mum
So they bleat all their grievances up and down the avenue!
And replete with my riposte to keep me from grabbing you
By your lapels
I've no need to haze for my life is amazing
and here, my dear, is the news

The world's my nicknackatory
It's so frightfully keen
Yours is another story
It's really rather mean
The world's my nicknackatory
It's all frightfully rum
You may bathe in my glory
And maybe we'll be chumsthe dross
one has to hear as one's stock grows more
Is the cross one has to bear and a frightful bore
The world is my toyshop, it makes your ploy stop
A place of joy, got a Japanese robot
In a bow tie to serve me tea
Biscuits, cake, and sherry
The very thought of employment thwarts my enjoyment
Of port so I deploy some more booze, remain buoyant!
I demand booze, and I demand cake
But always to share, as I care for the chums that I make
In the wake of the chap hop wars
I recline in a fine pair of tweed plus fours
I care not whose dander I get up, I'm set up for life
As my quill has more might than the knife
The strife the naysayers cause me bores me blue!
Let them eat cake, and let me eat it too!

The world's my nicknackatory
It's so frightfully keen
Yours is another story
It's really rather mean
The world's my nicknackatory
It's all frightfully rum
You may bathe in my glory
And maybe we'll be chumsall the haters
And their maters
Throw your hands up at me
All the waiters
Bring their plates and
Try not to upset me
If your nose can't take a tweak
Or you find my words oblique
Then get back to your bitter pit
Because I've turned the other cheek!

The world's my nicknackatory
It's so frightfully keen
Yours is another story
It's really rather mean
The world's my nicknackatory
It's all frightfully rum
You may bathe in my glory
And maybe we'll be chums

Biscuits
Biscuits
Biscuits
Cake
Cake
Cake and Sherry
Cake
Cake
Cake and Sherry