Oh a man came to our house, our house, our house
A man came to our house to sell us some brooms
So, we asked him to come in and we hit him with a hammer
And we hid him in the closet in my father's room!

But you're always welcome at our house
Anytime of the day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

Oh a lady came to our house, our house, our house
The lady came to find out why I was not in school
So, we asked her to come in, and we gave her some poisoned lemonade
And put her in the freezer where it's nice and cool

But you're always welcome at our house
Anytime of the day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

Then a kid came into our yard, our yard, our yard
A kid came into our yard to get his ball
So, we asked him to come in and we took him in the basement
And we sealed him up inside the basement wall

But you're always welcome at our house
Anytime of the day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

So, when you come to our house, our house, our house
When you come to our house, we will have some fun
We will ask you to come in and we will take you in the kitchen
And we'll put you in the oven until you are done

But you're always welcome at our house
Anytime of the day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

And we know... you will stay