Wakin up again, half past three
Sleepin' on the couch that's the life for me
Barry's in the evil bed, Greg's away at class
Adam smells like Boone's again, wizzin' in a glass.
The funk's in town, no one can breathe
'You missed the naked pillow fight,' the girls tease me
I want a fuckin' orange but I don't have three
And I still can't believe Pete got with Laurie
Fraier bought a fake vagina, that shit's just wrong
Talkin' 'bout yo moms again, did her all night long
Mirror split my face open, I don't mind
Another day of injury at 7-8-9

Late at night once again, rollin' all those dice
Gunnin' down Lone Star, yeah, chaos feels right
Shit's hit the fan, screamin' provalonay
Yet again, round the bend, we bastards get away
Movin on to Street Fighter, Risk and A&A
Gonna marry a carrot and all Asians are gay
Last night I dreamt of Oatmeal Cream Pies
Don't shit me with your pizza night, it's all a bunch of lies
I know, guys, you're as broke as I am
I'll go steal another cup of SUNY ham
Dyin' slow on U-A-S, life's just fine
Another day of eatin' well at 7-8-9

Don't tell me to slow down, chicks dig me when I'm drunk
Sick of their hypocrisy, gonna be a monk
College girls kick ass when they do your laundry
Shy, loud, sweet, bad, virginal, and naughty
Clothesline, Bhuddist Temple, movin' furniture
The girl, that girl, bike pants it's all a blur
I tell you, friends, it gets no better than this
When the dishes pile so high you can use the faucet
Booze, porn, Simpsons, fluff, jumpin' over snow
Here we are as Kings, that I surely know
Getting' laid thrice a day, blows my mind
Another day of happiness at 7-8-9.