Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk in here

Tonight's the night we're gonna get plastered
Pissed or maybe even get laid, too
Booze on your breath always makes girls horny
So come on boys, let's chug a few

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk, oh yeah

People pouring in the front door
Most of them I've never seen in my life
I hear the sound of windows breaking
Who just lit the couch on fire

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight

And if you're coming here
Don't forget to have yourself a beer

There's two girls throwin' up in the bathroom
A good friend holds your head back when ya puke
Tonight's the night so grab your whatever
Lift your something
Here's a toast to you

We're all gonna get drunk
Oh, we're all gonna get drunk
Oh, wait we're already drunk

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk, hoorah!

Fa la la la la la la

(Uh, actually, I'm not drunk. At all. No.
I've gotta drive all these people home. Have a good time...assholes.)
(Hey man, be careful)
(Hey! Lemme yell at your face! Cause I love ya! Lemme yell at your face! It'll be funny)
(Hey, I don't feel so good)
(There is no trash can)