The priest wears a black eye patch and fake Prada perfume
On his walking cane is the Holy Roman ring
He wants to blindfold you all alone in his bedroom
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king

Hosanna closes her eyes at Saint Peter's urging
She tapes them shut so she can't see anything
She don't know it yet, but she's no longer virgin
Here in the land of the blind, the one-eyed snake is king

The cyclops in the White House understands it
Keeps everyone snow blind from the great west wing
He knows your rules don't apply here in the snake pit
It's a land of the blind and the one-eyed man is king

Oh, every night you pray or is it wishing?
Cause you're in no position to ask for anything

I'm guided by a warning light from heaven
Inspired by the violent Arab Spring
I nearly died once in a wrecked Porsche 911
But in the land of the dead, the dying man is king

You're looking for someone to lead you through this
I'm standing here, let's do this
Throw my hat into the ring
He sentenced me to eternity in exile
Then drew the battle lines with David's sling
He gave every sightless clown a nuclear missile
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king
Oh, meet me at your mama's by the parkway
And I'll free your soul from every apron string
In the execution hood you wore on Saint's Day
We'll join the land of the blind
where the one-eyed man is king