Clap, clap, everybody clap, clap
Everybody has it, it's rude not to share it
Your clap, clap

Oh, chlamydia
My life's a living hell
No encyclopedia
Defines the putrid smell

There were no warning signs
When I stepped in the jacuzzi
You'd been there for some time
So you obviously weren't choosy
You threw yourself at me
I couldn't help but catch you
Now you're a nasty itch
That I can't reach to scratch you
Ohh

Ohh

Ohh

Oh, chlamydia
You really are a curse
Now I can't get rid o' you
Can it get any worse?

You seem to have invited
Your old friend gonorrhoea
Who, far from being gone hands
Arrived with diarrhoea
I'm being looked at sideways
By a sneaky little crab
Whose man and eyes like a bug

Oh, venerea
I'm clawing at your itch
Oozing bacteria
Lies under