This guy doused his wife in gasoline
Then he went and he set the bitch on fire
You see Crazy Dan was the name of the man
He was pretty much a high strung jerk and a liar

She didn't die just right away
She smoldered and she cried
And Dan the loon was heard to say
"I considered it a matter of pride"

Dan was such a stormy man
Apparently took all he could stand
So after dinner on that mournfull night
He tied her to a stake

Put to use a fucking god damn shit ass son of a bitch
And set ablaze her golden locks thus emersed himself in sin

Being as how they lived on a farm miles away from nowhere
Dan felt safe in his fiendish deed and figured no one would be aware
Now dan was sweatin from the heat of the woman
Her flames all bright and glowin
Alas the spectacle had a spectator
Someone peeked without Dan knowing

This peeking person no person at all was the figure of Dan's own conscience
But meanwhile beside his blazing bride Dan laughed and grunted grunts
Dan watched her fry with a gleam in his eye what a crackpot daffy loon
Course at that time Dan wouldn't guess he'd be getting his soon

For a couple of days Dan's conscience was there
Just hanging around the house
Started to infect Dan's little head
With the memory of sizzled spouse

Dan was crazy as crazy can be He began to be affected
For in his fucked brain and heartless heart Some guilt was left unprotected
He'd pase the floor and pull his hair and cry alone at night
For now he knew the one thing to do was the one thing that was right
They took him away in a paddy wagon now he's locked up tight
So if you're married to an unbalanced man, best not ask for a light