I've played with the thought of running
Away from what haunts me most
Or maybe just ending the story short
Either would be better than this place that I'm at now
I've played this thought over passing
It back and forth between my fingers
Enough to make them raw through the skin
Cutting deep into my bones and hitting the one thing
That I've held through these long seasons... my hope
While everything's come and gone
That was the one thing that kept me
From giving up on going on
Like the times when friends and family tell you
"you're going to do great things"
But this actually held some sense of meaning in its phrase
Unlike the empty nonsense
That's said to comfort you with the fact
That your youth has expired
Some would say it's wrong and that I'm the liar
But you've got a feeling crawling deep under your skin
That tells you right
Tells you that this plan that's been laid out for you
Isn't etched in stone
Isn't written to be declared to the generations below
It's a feeling that's nestled itself
Deep in my awkwardly long bones
Leaching off the hope
That let me endure this tragedy that we like to call a home
It wasn't always a tragedy
And there weren't always holes in the walls
Where holes should never be
There was a time when pictures hung
From every free inch of the walls
Sporting landscapes and memories
That stretch down the entire hall
Showing the life that used to roam freely
And the love that came endlessly
But fear is the one thing that led to it's destruction
This disillusion of fear led us to dismantle
What we had worked so hard to build
What we had given so much to find
And within the blink of an eye
Or whatever you prefer to tell time... it was gone
This home that had birthed a tragedy
Had finally given way to its own

And yet I still search for way of how to recreate that home
No matter how many pictures I tilt
Or how many days I cross off in the month of september
I can't recreate what we had
No matter how many walls you paint or pictures you hang
It'll never be the same as it once was
It's like I found myself stuck living in the past
Holding onto anything that brings some sort of comfort
Or at least won't bring any pain
And you've got that pain wrenched deep under your skin
Crawling into any crack and crevice
Finding any way to get in
And that void that you've got that you feel in your limbs
It can't be cured with any pill or needle
The things that you use to numb the gnawing bite
Until it fades into a dull tick
No... only something greater than yourself
Can fill that void that you've been trying to satisfy for years
That void is the same pain
That's made itself home in my awkwardly long bones
I wish I had the guts to confront what haunts me the most
I wish I had the ability to take a chance
Without the fear of falling
But I think I've finally discovered
What keeps me up at night when I'm all alone
That's the pain that's made it's home
In these god forsaken bones