It's Christmas time and Santa's here
Making the children smile
But he's just a pedophile
So you better watch your child
Christmas trees in every house
Covered in shiny lights
But they just turn brown and die
Or set your whole house on fire

These are the reasons I hate the seasons, but imma give it a try

Maybe this year I wont be sad on Christmas
Maybe I'll have a happy holiday
Replace my heart ache and my pain
With mistletoe and candy cane
This Christmas, could go my way

Having fun with all your friends
Sipping on that eggnog
But it just looks like jizz
All over your upper lips
House made out of ginger bread
Cookies like Christmas trees
Giving ya heart disease
And type 2 diabetes

These are the reasons I hate the seasons, but imma give it a try

Maybe this year I wont be sad on Christmas
Maybe I'll have a happy holiday
Replace my heart ache and my pain
With mistletoe and candy cane
This Christmas, could go my way

I've never seen reindeer fly
I've never heard the sleigh bells ring
I've never seen a snowman come to life
I've never heard the angels sing
But I hope, and I pray
That maybe this Christmas day
That'll change

Maybe this year I wont be sad on Christmas
Maybe I'll have a happy holiday
Replace my heart ache and my pain
With mistletoe and candy cane
This Christmas, could go my way

Maybe this year I wont be sad on Christmas
Maybe I'll have a happy holiday
Replace my heart ache and my pain
Let's just dance the night away
This Christmas, is going my way

Just dance with me