Can we trade in these lives we lead
‘cause baby you should see me in my dreams
Fighting assassins off in bullet time
Spinnin’ three-sixty degrees
‘cause all these movies got me thinkin’
Could I ever be like them?
Do you think john mcclane gets shycock
Taking a piss with other dudes?

That’s why he’s john mcclane.

I wanna wear a vest top for a living
And shoot guns out of cars while they’re still spinning
Go out and prove I’m hard down on the boulevard
Shit on the reds just like christopher hitchens
And it’s really got me thinkin’
Could I ever be like them?
Do you think arnie lives at his parents’ house
And listens to the gaslight anthem?

He says they’re pretty good.

I wish that when I sang
It sounded just like springsteen
That if I took the stand
That folks would sit and listen

I wish that I was in a gang
Grinding a living on the corners
Or the maverick on a cop show
Bustin’ heads and takin’ numbers

And I’d look like jesse custer
And I’d throw down like him too
Go chasin’ women like mcnulty
After a dozen shots or two

And when I write a breakdown
That sounds like racing in the street
Not a soul will ever notice
Just think the song is pretty sweet.