If you don't golf that's okay
You can be a tiger anyway
Laugh through your teeth when things gets tough
Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Fertalise the ladies in the neighbourhood
Get real rich and you will find
All the hot chicks will want you blind

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Grip that shaft like you know you should
Get a platinum card, it will be all good
The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods

Remember this when you're having fun
Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah
If the word gets out don't be afraid
When a 9 iron's heading for your escalade, yeah yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Filling all the divots in the neighbourhood
Don't think about those three foot clubs
You cover your tracks when you're banging them sluts

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Text messages are never good
Nail a girl at the driving range
Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods

Have your best friend book all your flights
Tell your wife that you're golfing nights
Get a call girl and maybe just chill
Be willing to part with a hundred mill

Bang a new pornstar every day
Tell your sponsors it will be okay
Surprise them all with an invitation
To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood
Tell your wife how it's gonna be
Your driver is community property

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Brett Favre did it, so you know you could
Become the king of your neighbourhood
Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods

Just like Tiger Woods, oh yeah yeah