(Heaton/Rotheray)
'I fought hard in the Second World War'
You hear them shout
No good bragging about the Afrika Korps
It was Beadle's About

They dressed you up and took you off to World War One
Armed you and surrounded you with wire
Sat in stinking mud you sung your stupid songs
And waited till they told you when to fire

Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
Nothing makes them laugh
Like a video bloodbath

From the First World War to the Yom-Kippur
It was Beadle's About
The bayonets slice, the rockets roar
And he jumps out

Fond memories of the bloody bridge you failed to hold
Many of your buddies killed or maimed
You would've shot at rabbits if that's what you'd been told
Till the General said 'I'm sorry you've been framed'

Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
And nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath

Chorus:
Keep those entries coming
Leave those cameras running
Keep those entrails coming
Leave those soldiers gunning
Because you're sure to get a laugh
With a video bloodbath
Nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath

Here's a wacky video we got last week
A bomb catches Arthur unawares
He's lost both his arms and he can't see or speak
But thank you for the memory you shared

Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
And nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath

Chorus