Ran Over By A Bus Up The High Street
Dougy Only Feels A Tickle In His Feet
The Driver Shouts Oi! Are You Alright
But Dougy's On His Way
Dougy Then Has A Little Mishap
When A Geezer Comes Along And Gives Him A Slap
Dougy Said It's Wise That You Apologize
Or Else You'll Face D D D Dougy

Beware, Beware, Beware, Beware,
Never Never Mess With Dougy Bell
Beware Beware Beware Beware
Never Never Mess With Him
D You, D You, D You, Do You Wanna Be Like Dougy
Or D You, D You, D You, D You Wanna Be Like Me
I Wanna Wanna Wanna Be Like Dougy

Dougy's Getting Sick Of Burglaries
He's Changed All The Locks
And He's Bought New Keys
He's Gonna Get The Robber No Matter What It Takes
He's Gonna Die
Dougy Sits Waiting With A Hammer On His Bed
Some Dirty Rogues Gonna Get A Sore Head
Fifteen Villains Or Maybe Even More
Ran When They Saw D D D Dougy

Oh Dougy's In The Backroom Playing Pool,
He's Lost Five Quid But He Keeps His Cool,
Dougy Is A Winner, He'll Not Be Beat,
So The Game Goes On.
Dougy!
Half An Hour Later When The Poolroom's In A Wreck
The Opposition Wraps A Snooker Cue Round Neck
He Began The Cry Cause He Was Gonna Die
Cause He Fooled With Da Da Da Da Dougy