This is a song called Confessions in three movements This first movement, the first confession is entitled: Feminism
I believe that women have the right To walk the streets at night And not be afraid for their lives I believe that a woman has the right To choose what happens to her body Without suffering the judgement Of the conservative right
And I believe that women have the right To wear the clothes she likes Without being treated like dirt And I think we, men, are pathetic How we seem to judge aesthetic As the measure of a woman's worth I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex For making women feel like objects
Fuck I love boobs though, I just really love them Fuck I love boobs though, I just wanna rub them They're just so jooby, they make me feel groovy I would rather watch boobs than a movie Be doop be doo, I just really love Boobs
And this second movement is called Poverty, Open Bracket Altruism, Closed Bracket
I believe the people are entitled to basic human rights Whether they are rich or they're poor And I believe a world where no children are starving Is a world worth fighting for And I try to remind myself Even when I'm struggling How incredibly lucky I am And I don't think it's ok That the luxuries I crave Should come at the expense of my fellow man I'm sure i could do a little more To alleviate the suffering of the poor
Fuck I love boobs though I just really love them I don't really mind if I am behind Below or above them
They're just so jubbly They make me feel lubbly I would rather own boobs than a pub Be doop be doo I just really love Boobs
The third movement is entitled Enviromentalism
I believe the that planet we live in Is a living organism And we must treat her carefully I don't think we should assume We can just go on consuming Her resources indefinitely The world's not a bottomless pit And we can all do our little bit
Fuck I love boobs though I just really care for 'em They're equally fun When they're 21 Or octogenarian They're just so flappy They make me feel happy I would rather eat boobs than a bap Be doop be doo doop do doo I just really love boobs
Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions Designed to tempt men in situations When they can't get a glimpse of your bums I find such hypotheses dumb It's like the one that says Lipstick is for making your lips look more Like the lips of a happy vagina Since they said that I can't look my great-aunt In the eyes Why'd they have to say that, oh why?
From the first little suck of colostrum To the grope of the the nurse in the old people's hostel We're just fucking monkeys in shoes
And I Will always love boobs I will always Love boobs