One, two

I got a horse, his name is Bill

I loved that horse, I always will

He ran away all day

Also, I ran with him

He ran so fast, he could not stop

He ran into a barbershop

And fell exhaustionized - with his eye teeth

In the barber's left shoulder

And I got a gal and her name's Daisy

When she sings, the cat goes crazy

With deliriums and St. Vituses

And all kinds of cataleptics

One day she sang a song about

A man who turned himself inside out

And jumped into the river

He was so very sleepy

And I'm goin' out in the woods this year

To hunt for beer and not for deer

I am, I ain't

I been a champion sharpshootress

Yes, at shooting birds I am a beaut

There is no bird I cannot shoot

In the eye, in the ear, in the finger

And in the armpits

Here in Frisco town, there lives a whale

Well, she eats swordfish by the bail

By the ton, by the humper

By the stoner, by the spaceship

Oh, her name's Tilly, she's a peach

But don't leave food within her reach

Or babies or banjos

Or chocolate ice cream sodas

Oh, she knows her cadence when she plays

Rolls her eyes for days and days and days

By grace, and yodels

And breaks all ten commandments

Oh, she loves to laugh, and when she smiles

You see her teeth for miles and miles

and miles and miles and miles

And her adenoids and her hangy-down thing

And things too gross to mention

I went up in a balloon so big

All the people on Earth, they looked like a pigs

Like mice, like flies

Like floozes and like fleasens

And the balloon turned its bottom side higher

Fell in the mouth of a country squire

He made a noise like a doghound

Like an air raid siren, like dynamite

Oh, and what do you do in a case like that?

What do you do but jump on your hat?

On your eyebrow, on your toothbrush

On everything that's helpless

Oh, I got a horse, his name is Bill

I loved that horse, I always will

He ran away all day

And also, I ran with him